Probably worth mentioning that they both seemed to have all of their limbs attached, and that they were only at the hospital for 15 minutes
A few days ago, we compared Selena and Justin’s relationship to something you’d normally see on an episode of Hollyoaks.
Now, in light of new photos which show them being rushed from her house to Reseda hospital in a van which looked a bit like an ambulance (but probably actually wasn’t), we’d like to amend that comparison:
It’s like something you’d see on an episode of Hollyoaks LATE NIGHT EDITION.
Or just Eastenders.
The couple-who-we-weren’t-sure-were-a-couple-anymore had stayed at Selena’s house last night when they suddenly rushed into a van and were driven helterskelter to the nearby hospital in the late morning. Upon their arrival Selena popped in, stayed about 15 minutes and then left.
Incidentally, the following hospital-based activities all take about 15 minutes:
1) Queuing to get through the front door and into reception
2) Working out how to write your name in block capitals
3) Being tested for Strep Throat, which affects the tonsils
Also getting things which require emergency prescriptions. No idea what they could be though.
Following the couple-who-we-weren’t-sure-were-a-couple’s A&E adventure, Justin dressed up as primary school attending granddad, and wandered around with an umbrella for a little while, before taking Selena out to dinner with some friends at New York’s Benihanas restaurant.
We googled the menu (because that’s just the kind of thing we do), and after umming and ahhing over the options for a little while, we’ve concluded that Selena probably opted for the Keiko salad with grilled tiger prawns, while Justin went for the Hibachi steak and chicken.
The couple, who we mostly just want to stay together for the sake of their future children (think of how glossy their hair would be), have had a very tumultuous couple of weeks recently.
You can take a moment to appreciate our use of the word tumultuous, and then we’ll tell you all about it.
First off, Justin and Selena were HAPPY. They spent their days skipping around in ridiculous trouser leggings and nuzzling in the fields like a pair of piebald ponies.
Then Justin’s eye took a bit of a wander in a different direction, and stumbled across Victoria’s secret model Barbara Palvin.
Meanwhile, Selena Gomez had jumped into bed with somebody else, and was busy telling girls to “stay true to themselves.” Unfortunately Barbara didn’t appear to have heard her.
Justin appeared to become increasingly irate at all of this, which he dealt with by wearing a series of horrible outfits, and eventually persuading Selena to go on a date with him. A date which concluded with him being locked out of her house, shaking his fists at the security systems, and looking a little bit peeved.
And a date which concluded with Selena going to hang out with Taylor Swift and learn the lyrics to Never Ever Ever Getting Back Together.
[Incidentally, we’re going to write this up into a script format and send it over to the Channel 4 writers later on this afternoon]
But now, in a shock turn of events [say that in a cartoon narrator’s voice, please], it looks like Justin and his trousers have managed to persuade Selena to give him another chance.
It’s all so exciting. If only we could Sky Plus it and watch it all over again and again and again.
Business [photosmash id=7]
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